I had been thinking of what to do if I can't keep pace with old Dean and the gang. I even considered bringing a route map in case I had to finish on my own. But, perhaps, having that option might guarantee that I don't make it. Surely I'll feel tired at 14 and think it wise to pace myself based on my self.
So, that idea sucks. Let's not blur the line between success and failure. Moral victories are for losers.
I already know I can slog through a marathon in half a day. I knew this race would be challenging for me, that's why I signed up. I thought I'd have to run a 4:30, which I'm pretty sure I can do. And it turns out, they might run a 4:20, or even 4:10, so if it comes to that, I guess I'll just have to run a 4:10.
Confidence is highly erratic these days. For some reason it's back up today. I ran 4 miles this morning, back on the roads around my home. Just me, my lungs, my sweat, and my two feets.
There have been a lot of ups and downs for me during the course of training for this race, some of which I write about and some of which I wrote and never published. And some published only in hidden messages and carefully chosen music clips.
It's as simple as this: if I get on the bus, know that I've failed. If I finish in time, know that my heart's on fire.
Listening to: Tenacious D - Explosivo (We've come to blow your nose.)