Sunday, January 29, 2006

minor embellishments

My elbow still looks pretty bad from yesterday's fall, and now its starting to swell and turn black and blue.

I guess it's not so bad, but since I've been feeling a little starved for attention lately, I'm gonna milk this minor injury for everything I can. In fact, I'm going to walk around with an oversized bandage, and some other unnecessary bandages too, and maybe a splint. And when people ask about it, I'll just say, "oh, it's nothing, I just sustained a minor injury during a typical 15 mile training run, so I just washed it off with some gatorade and then stopped the bleeding with a tourniquet made from my fuel belt, and then kept running the remaining 11 miles because that's what the schedule calls for and because it didn't even really hurt. I barely noticed it, actually. Also, I think I didn't just fall, but maybe, I think someone tripped me, but I'm not mad, though, I live and let live, that's my motto, that and 'measure twice, cut once,' those are my two mottos. But either way, I fell and slid all the way down the Kemah bridge dodging cars left and right, steering myself with my right elbow that's why I have this tiny bandage. Doctors wanted to put it in a cast, but that would slow me down, so I said, 'forget the cast, doc, casts are for babies,' and they were like 'sir, you have redefined machismo,' and then they stood at attention and saluted me as I left."

Yeah, that's what I'll say.

Rock on.


lisaleese said...

I, too, have had evil road stuff jump up and bite me. One of those reflector thingys jumped up during a 25K and attacked me, causing me to fall and scrape the heck out of my leg. I finished the race with blood running down my leg.

Maybe you could get your mom to kiss your elbow and make it feel better.

Dave Smart said...

Hah! that's a gas. You are like George Carlin's smarter brother.

Sorry to hear about the mishap, you've redefined runners elbow. Heal fast.

Keith said...

That's exactly right.

i need mommy.