I'm off to sunny Florida...

I'm leaving tonight, and I'll be gone until the 28th, and I'm not sure if I'll have regular internet access there, so you may have to go without my nonsense for a while.

I hope everyone has a nice break celebrating the holiday of your choice. If you're still undecided as to which holiday to celebrate, I suggest you avoid Christmas and go with one of the other ones. Christmas is a stressful time for people like me. I still haven't done any shopping.

You know who has the right idea, when it comes to celebrating Christmas? Old men. They don't have to buy anything, old woman does all that. Sometimes they don't even sign the cards, you can tell that old woman signed it for him. You just sit back and open presents, although you only get crappy stuff like tiny model trains or tiny model airplanes or clocks.

And it seems impossible for me to have a thoughtful gift for anyone at this point. That's why I wait until the last minute, because it's all crap, and you can't settle on crap two weeks in advance. So in all likelyhood, this is what the people in my family will get for the umpteenth year in a row.

• Old man: tiny model, or clock, or Shnickelfritz variety sausage pack.
• Old woman: something with a butterfly, or something to hang in the window. Also a plant.
• Middle aged man: desktop thing that is clever in some way.
• Middle aged woman: another bird feeder, more salt and pepper shakers.
• Young man: video game.
• Young woman: gift certificate.
• Boy: video game or money.
• Girl: money.

Those are the default gifts. If I'm unable to come up with something good.

Anyway.
Rock on.
Keith.

I'll think of all of you when I'm running on the beach.